Hi ladies, I don't really know any of you besides Tamara, but I would like to! :) Anyway... along the theme in Hosea of the unfaithful wife, I have a question for you. Not really meant to start a theological debate, but asked because my heart is hurting.
What do you do when someone really close to you walks away from Christ? Someone who has walked with God for a few years, who has shown the fruits of the Spirit in his or her life, who has oozed God's love, and who has even led others to Christ?
I've known a lot of people who are or have been devoted followers of Christ who are under the impression they are living fully in the Spirit, but their rebellious actions and choices definitely reveal otherwise. I've lived in resistance to obeying God myself and I'm not proud of it. But I'm talking about something different. I'm talking about a follower of Christ who willingly and consciously decides to completely reject Christ's lordship in his or her life, to purposefully aim to disobey God's will, and even to give up eternity in heaven.
There is a lot that led to this person's decision, mainly that God didn't behave the way he/she wanted. This person is obviously choosing outright rebellion in choosing to "leave" Jesus. But I also don't believe that anything can separate us from the love of Christ. Obviously Jesus still loves this person and is waiting with open arms... just like Hosea always went back for Gomer and just like Michael always goes back for Angel in the book, I know He is waiting for this individual to come back. But what happens if this person outright refuses His attempts at wooing him/her back? Can He force him/her to return?
I believe with all my heart that God is irresistible and that when He romances us, we can't help but succumb. I love that about Him. But I also know He doesn't want to force us to love Him... He wants us to choose to love Him back and follow Him. I know my husband wants me to love him because I want to and because it brings me joy-- he wouldn't want me to love him out of obligation or a sense of duty.
I just don't know. The whole thing just hurts. I don't think people realize that when they decide to tear themselves away from Christ, they are ripping out a part of the Bride of Christ too. They are dismembering the Body.
I'm doing my best to love this person and encourage him/her, but it seems to only make things worse because the only things I find to be truly encouraging have to do with God.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
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6 comments:
First off, you have to read "Disappointment With God" by Philip Yancey. (Hang in there. There's a weird lull in the middle, but it's worth your effort.)
I don't know that this woman will read it for herself, but it might give you a lot of insight into how she feels and into what you can say to her.
I don't believe that God will force anyone to be with Him. But I also don't believe people can lose their salvation. (Which is a whole other discussion, I know.) I think God will spend the rest of her life wooing her back to Him.
And perhaps you can take comfort in the idea that it is not your (or anyone's) responsibility to turn her back. It is the job of the Spirit to convict and encourage and speak comfort. And He will.
You, perhaps, are supposed to be there to lend her faith when hers is too weak. You are to intercede -- pray without ceasing, both for her and for your strength. You are to not give up.
And you are to keep walking in that love and truth that you know is so real. Pray for sensitivity to her, but don't altogether stop using biblical wisdom to speak encouragement to her; the Spirit is still in her, and He will respond. Even when our heads and hearts are too calloused and heavy to see it, God is near.
One or two more things:
I find it encouraging that none of this is unfolding before the Lord. He knew even before He created this woman that she would struggle like this. He knew it would break her heart. He knew it would break His. But He did it anyway. He has a plan.
Also, it is easy to get either completely caught up in her situation or just to back off entirely. Neither are good. I'll pray for you that you find a balance and will know just how to love her through this -- and try to keep your sanity as well.
I meant "neither is." I'm my own grammar police.
thank you all for the encouraging words. Tamara, i've really enjoyed Yancey's books; i think Disappointment is one of the only ones i don't own. i've always wanted to read it. thanks for that suggestion.
i agree that it's important to remember the Holy Spirit can do His job just fine without our help. thank you for your prayers as i seek to balance loving with grace AND truth.
the more i've thought about it all, the more i'm certain she will return. even if it's when she's 90 years old and on her death bed, eventually she will remember her first love. there is hope.
p.s. i also do not believe we can lose our salvation-- just in case anyone was wondering. :)
I think this is a question we all should pay attention to. I think all of us, at some point, are going to witness someone be so utterly frustrated with God that they question Him or walk away (if only for a period of time).
We have to brace our hearts for this, because it is so hard on us. We have to be prepared to encourage one another too. I know a couple of people right now who fit the description Ashley provides... sometimes the hurt is too great for people to trust that God truly is good.
Anyway, I hope that these people will find their rest in Christ. I hope that they will find peace. But I am confident that the Love of Christ is strong enough to sustain even the weakest one of us... because 1 Cor. 13 tells us that love -- true agape love, the kind He has to offer -- is greater than both hope and faith (which seem sometimes to be so distant).
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